The Quiet Homemaker

Helping you maintain peace in marriage, parenting & homemaking

Are You Really Friends? 6 Ways to Invest in Your Friendships

Are You Really Friends?

As I look at my life I see that I have a small group of friends. I have plenty of acquaintances, you know, the ones that you enjoy talking with, but you are not really “invested” in, nor are they in you. Are we truly invested in those that we say are our friends? I see the people around me and they are so busy. Do they even have the time to invest in me? And honestly, that is totally fine. Being a true friend takes real investment of each others time and emotions. But are we doing this?



So what do I mean by “invest”? Well, one of my friends said it best in one of her YouTube videos:

It is around 6 minutes in that she is speaking on friendship.

She was talking about how there are friends and there are acquaintances, either one that you want to be is fine, but do not call me friend if you are not invested in me and my life. If you are not following me on my blog or watching my channel, you are not my friend, you are not invested in what is important to me.

Wait, wait, I know what you are thinking, because I was thinking the same thing! What? Ouch!

But think about it for just a second. If I am truly her friend, will I not deeply care about the things that are important to her? Do we not make sacrifices for those we love? Should we not invest our time into what those close to us are passionate about? Even if it may not be our thing?


The World Today

It seems to me that we are living in a very “me” centered world right now. What will I get out of this? And it is affecting ALL of our relationships with our friends, loved ones, and with God.

God is standing there giving His all to us. He is completely invested in us. Our cares, dreams, sorrows, and hardships. But are we treating Him like a friend… or an acquaintance? Are we spending time everyday investing in the relationship, or do we just talk to Him when we see Him at church on Sunday?

I want to invest in those whom I love.

But how do we do this? What does this “investing” look like?

Here are a few ideas:

  • Actively listen when others talk
  • Be vulnerable (Y’all, this one I have huge issues with! I am reading Daring Greatly right now and it is shaking me up!)
  • Do not fake interest, everyone can tell you are faking it
  • Pay attention to what they are passionate about and respond. Sign up and read their blog, read a book they are loving, watch dirtbike races, or take up a new craft they are loving. Invest.
  • Be aware, know them well enough to know when something is off and then ask them about it. Show that you care.
  • Say “How are you?” and mean it. Really get them to open up and talk about themselves, and then remember number 1.
Investing in your relationship with God is just as important, if not more so.

This is so simple and yet so hard. We are so busy that we push God to last and then never get to Him!

  • Start you day off with prayer and Bible reading. Quietly focused only on Him
  • Invest in learning about God through a more in-depth Bible time or Bible study
  • Read books by Christian authors that will teach your more about your Father (Do not discount Christian Fiction! I have learned a lot about faith and God through fiction)
  • Pray throughout the day. This is hard once the day gets busy, but very necessary. Here is a wonderful resource by Embracing the Lovely
  • Sing praise and worship songs throughout the day
  • Practice His Presence, just be with Him and listen. Honestly, I do not completely grasp this, it is something that I am working on, but the Bible says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” So I try to stop and be still and focus on Him.

God just wants to be with us, just like our friends do. God wants to be important to us, and this is the same thing that our friends want.

Let us refocus, open up a little time, and truly invest in our family, friends, and God.






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About The Quiet Homemaker

Here at The Quiet Homemaker I aspire to live a peaceful, quiet life as Paul urged the Thessalonians. God has blessed me with an amazing husband and three wonderful boys. He entrusted them into my care and I want to please Him by caring for them in a way that brings Him glory. I want to show them a quiet and peaceful life, where they work with their hands and tend to their own affairs and then reap the rewards of a job well done. The best way to show them this is through my example. Read More…


  1. I LOVE THIS POST! You so surprised me, Amy! I love it, love it, love it. The characteristics you have I truly glean from immensely. I can only hope to be the friend to you that you are to me. <3

    • Awe, Cristine! You are too sweet. I am so glad that you loved the post! You words in the video really touched me, after the shock wore off ;)! You are an amazing friend with a heart of gold!


  2. Thank you for sharing this video. I follow her on facebook. I love her honesty. If you’re my friend you should be a part of the things I’m invested in. I love this!

    Your tips are so practical and true. I have to admit, truthfully, that I’m not always a great friend. If someone I care about ever needs me, I’m always there. However, I don’t do very well at the day to day involving people in my life sort of friendship. I have a couple of friends for around 18 years, but we don’t talk or get together very much. It is one of the things I’d like to change. I feel like I need to invest more in relationships outside of my immediate family.

    Thank you for your dose of true wisdom today.
    Jessica recently posted…When you want to Change but feel DefeatedMy Profile

    • Thanks so much Jessica, I am so glad that you enjoyed the post! I think that is part of the reason that I wrote this. I know that I am not always the friend that I should be, but this was a reminder of that. Being a friend is hard work, just like marriage, but there are huge benefits. I do not have many true friend and that is totally fine, in the place that I am it would be very hard to have many and still invest in them the way that I should. But I really want to make a commitment to those that are in my life and make sure that they are feeling the love!

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