I have had to deal with difficult people repeatedly! God keeps bringing these damaged people into my life. They will not deal with their past hurts, and instead bottle it up inside and then make the people around them miserable!
So how do we deal with them? My tactic is to run very far away, curl up in a ball and hide. The other option that is used a lot is to be just as aggressive and confrontational as they are. Neither of these are healthy responses, nor are they how our Heavenly Father wants us to react.
God does not want us to be fearful of mere mortals. And we know that he doesn’t want us to lash out in anger.
Verses on Anger
- Ephesians 14: 26 – “Do not sin in your anger.. Do not give the devil a foothold.”
- Ephesians 4: 29 – “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, only what is helpful for building others up.”
- Ephesians 4: 31 – “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.”
- James 1: 19-20 – “.. Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak, and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. “
- Proverbs 29: 11 – ” Fools give vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. “
If you are the run and hide type when dealing with difficult people, anger in those confrontational situations may not be your problem. I am weak and I cry and break down. I can not think of a single thing to say, and, most of the time, clam up and take the beating.
There are a few times when I have let the anger flow, but mostly this is me. Maybe you are thinking, ” well Jesus said to turn the other cheek and isn’t that what he did? ” Yes, but he did it in strength not weakness! Do you see the difference?
He used self-control to not obliterate them. He did not show weakness, but strength.
So, we can not run and hide, can not yell and shout. What do we do?
We lean on God for strength, strength to control our anger and strength to control our weakness. Like David dealing with Saul, we must learn how to deal with people who are angry and difficult.
A dear friend told me just the other day that very rarely are they really angry at you, but at Christ you. Even other Christians can have this problem!
Verses on Strength Through Fear
- My favorite: Psalms 27: 1 – 3 – “The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?…”
- Proverbs 18: 10 – ” the name of the Lord is a strong tower: Righteous run into it and are safe. “
- Isaiah 41: 10 – so do not fear for I Am With You;.. I will strengthen you and help you.. “
- Deuteronomy 31: 8 – ” it is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. “
- Joshua one: 9 ” be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. “
We cannot deal with difficult people in fear or anger, for neither of these are of God. We must stand our ground with the strength of Christ before us. And we must come at these situations was calm and love, knowing that God is with us, and because of that we can be strong and courageous! What can mere man do to me? Nothing!
Also, remember to pray for these people. They need your prayer, just like Saul, he didn’t hate David. He was jealous that God was with David. He was really mad at God. This anger drove him mad. Act on rationally have deeper issues than what is going on between you and they may need prayer and intercession!
I pray that this is a help and a blessing to you. Now to take my own advice !